I remember a time when life was simple. I remember a time when I was free to express myself however I chose, free to walk in the woods at midnight under the light of a full moon, free to wander down to the sea to release my stress and worries to be washed away by the tide. I remember hours of meditation, chanting, channelling. I remember rituals invoking the Goddess, the angels, sabbats celebrating the turning of the year. I remember it all...is this some kind of weird past life flashback? No! This is simply life before Motherhood.

For the first few months of our son's life our world has been turned upside down and the craving for sleep overcame the desire to walk in the moonlight. Our baby boy took a while to find his rhythm in this world and so did we, eventually becoming accustomed to the sleepless nights and the constant worry. But you are never really the same person that you were before. I'm finding that the experience of motherhood is changing the way I look at things, especially my magical life. Instead of magical working being something that I set aside a special time and place for it has since become something that I have started to incorporate into my everyday life. Everyday magic if you will. Taking my son out and about with me as we explore nature and all her elements has started to bring back memories of my own childhood. Again I am remembering a time when life was simple and free! Many of the summers of my youth were spent with my Grandmother. This was a woman who knew about the magic in everyday life and planted that seed in me, we would go on long walks looking for fairies and try to see the rings in the grass where they had been dancing round and round in circles. It was those childhood experiences that inspired me to live my life fully and to always question what was accepted and look beyond that.<

I struggled for ages trying to find the space for magic and magical working in my life in the same way that I had before, but whenever a rare moment of solitude appeared I would either be constantly interrupted by vomit, crying, dirty nappies, a well aimed soggy biscuit or I would simply fall asleep in the middle of a meditation! My baby boy is one who is always on the go and rarely sits still, so it came as something of a surprise to discover him watching me, fascinated, as I laid out my tarot deck. I have since discovered that he loves the energy surrounding all things magical and will sit quietly watching as I prepare herbs for incense, work with healing or the intuitive side of life. How fantastic! So now we go down to the river and we talk to the water fairies there and cast in our wishes. He giggles and claps (sometimes with a sceptical squint!) at the sight of the energy flowing from my hands during spell work or healing and he stares in stunned silence (or perhaps horror!) when I chant to clear my mind or invoke a diety. I am sure that one day his wonderment may turn into 'oh muuuuuuuuuum! What are you doing now?!' but until that day I am going to enjoy every moment that we spend looking for fairies, gnomes and elves. Hopefully showing him that the power of the elements can be called on in times of trouble and that in this world you are never truly alone, so that when he is older he too can look back and remember a time when life was simple...

It's magic but not as I've known it.

Nikki specialises in working with ancestral and family patterns for individuals during one to one reading, healing sessions or workshops combining her skills as a psychic medium, energy practitioner, and sound therapist. For more information visit Nikki's website www.flybroomstick.co.uk